B-SIDES

& RARITIES 

1976-1980

11" BLOCK O' THICK CHOC

LAST OF THE POMEGRANATES

STOMACH LINING

CONSTIPATION CRAMP

ABALONE IN THE NIGHT

THE DRY

THINGS TO MAKE AND CHEW [INSTRUMENTAL]

SALTS PROFIT

FATTER IS IRRELEVANT

INSIDE SNOUT

NUTS GOING ON?

CHEAT ADMISSION

CAT FILLET NIGHT

TOE NIGHT

THE FUEL

ICE CREAM IS OVER

CARTON WORLD

ANOTHER SPRAY

DUTCH

THE TV DINNER SONG

THE SEED OF LIFE

THE KING'S GLUCOSE

CRACK IN A BOX

PORK THE CHOP

CHEDDAR

1980-1983

M. MALLOW

BRIE THERE

BACCARDI GIRL

(TRASHED TRAMP AND THE BACCARDI GIRL)

A CONSTIPATION

MEASURE (WHATEVER HAPPENED TO BEETS I'VE CHOPPED)

A SHELL TOO FRIED FOR THE GROUND

BOOM…MERINGUE I [INSTRUMENTAL]

BOOM…MERINGUE II

1983-1986

LUNCH COMES FUMBLING

DISAPPEARING PACK

RINSE UP

THE THREE CUPSIZES

MARGARINE (THEME FROM 'CRAP GIVE')

SIXTY SECONDS IN DING-DONG COME [INSTRUMENTAL]

CUMIN FISH

THE STRANGE HAVARTI

SHUN TITTY

1986-1989

DUNK CHICKEN (AMERICA)

DEEP IN THE TART

BEAUTIFUL ROAST (SONGS OF EXPIRED SENSE)

SPANISH EGGS

FLUMINOUS TIMES (HOLD ON TO LUNCH)

STAVE OFF SBARRO'S (FOOD COURT)

DESSERT OF OUR LUNCH

MILD FAIRISH NOSE

SEIZE A MYSTERY OF MEAT

HALLELUJAH (EARS OF CORN)

A BOOM AT THE HIGH SCHOOL BAKE SALE

BALK AT THE WATER

1990-1995

EVIAN IN HELL

DOWN ALL THE LAYS

WHERE DID MUSSELS GO WRONG

SALAMI

GRAVY WITH THE DINING SPREAD (UV1)

OH WHEAT THINS

COAT YOUR HOUSE BROWN

VIVA STROGANOFF [INSTRUMENTAL]

SCHMEAR THE HELLMANN'S [INSTRUMENTAL]

GOLDEN FRIES

HOLD ME, CHILL ME, PISS ME, SPILL ME

SLOW COOKING

IN THE NAME OF THE WHOPPER

BOVRIL BOUILLON

1996-1999

FORCE MY MOUTH TO EAT LIVER

AIN'T HOT, YOU BABY

SLOPPY JOE

THE ONION RINGS

NEW PREY

2000-2005

THE GRIND BENEATH HER TEETH

NEVER GET ME ‘LOW’

FALLING TO YOUR FEET

PLATELESS

CHANCING BOOZE

ALL BRAISED

SOME FARE PLAIN

SWIG GIRLS ARE MESSED

UNETHICAL SHAWARM

LOVE STEW LIKE MAD

DON'T COME HAWKING

CLOVE OF PEACE

FLOUR CHILD

THE BRANDS THAT GUILT AMERICA

LEGISLATE

CAPRI SUN

ARE YOU GONNA TAKE FOREVER

SPANDEX AND WHINE

BILE

2006-2012

WINDOW THRU THE DRIVE

VINTNER

(THE DEVOURING BROS OF...) FRANKENBERRY
RETURN OF THE MILKY WAY MILK BAR [INSTRUMENTAL]

SPOON

AN AMERICAN FARE

FEED ME IN THE WAY I SHOULD GROW

SNACK BAR

HERSHEY

WE ARE THE SHEEPLE

CULINARY LOVE

INEDIBLE

CONNOISSEUR BRANDS

THANK YOU FOR THE TRAY

THE CRYSTAL PEPSI

I LOVE YOOHOO

RICE ABOVE I

MEATBALLS FROM THE SKY

AHAMSAW

46,664 CALS (LONG WALK TO BURN THEM)

COOK OF BOOR HEART

THE BALLAD OF CORDON BLEU

YOUR BONG SAVED MY LIFE

1976-1980

11" BLOCK

O' THICK CHOC

PARODY OF 11 O’CLOCK TICK TOCK

There’s nuts inside

I bet there’s lots in here

And, boy, it’s much harder

Than a 3 Musketeers

I fear I’ll keep on trying

It’s so large I should forego

I fear I’ll keep on trying

I bemoan

Must be encased

In something to make it strong

I’m not going to be deterred

From all ingestion before long

I fear I’ll keep on trying

Like a slave who must kowtow

I fear I’ll keep on trying

Aches jawbone

Ad infinitum

Ad infinitum

Ad infinitum

Ad infinitum

NON-ALBUM SINGLE (1980)

RE-RELEASE (2015)

LYRICS BY BONNEEAU

MUSIC BY UCHEW

LAST OF THE POMEGRANATES

PARODY OF LOST ON A SILENT PLANET

My fifth

My fifth one that I eat

They're great to eat!

Last of the pomegranates

Red coloured berry spheres

Last of the pomegranates

I think they're without peer

I can eat them

But can't have just two

I'm enthralled

But act nonchalant

In the morning

All through the day

Through the evening

I may eat till dawn

Last of the pomegranates

Choose some pom fruit bars

Last of the pomegranates

My grocer brought from Myanmar

In ice cream, no doubt

I dream about

And it burns off pounds

This humble fruit confounds

In the morning

All through the day

Through the evening

I may eat till dawn

Heard it treats gout

Keeps LDL at bay

And common cold defray

Memory loss delay

Diabetes allay

In the morning

All through the daytime

Through the evening

I may eat till gone

UNRELEASED (1979)

LYRICS BY BONNEEAU

MUSIC BY UCHEW

STOMACH LINING

PARODY OF SILVER LINING

I am old, I cried

Can a body be recalled?

But I need something inside

Aleve reached but you’re appalled

Takes out stomach lining

Save me from your tone

Save my stomach lining

Take ‘em on my own

I raid the Tylenol

And I can see you groan:

'You seek always relief protraction

So even, it's always what you've done’

Save me stomach lining

Save me from your tone

Quell my stomach lining

Things should always go:

NSAID NSAID

NSAID NSAID

NSAID NSAID

NSAID NSAI-AI-AID

And you hold back

But I can see you galling

Were always a touchy pill hater

I can't help but yawn...

Save me stomach lining

Save me from your tone

Save me stomach lining

Now my organ’s foes...

NSAID NSAID

NSAID NSAID

NSAID NSAID

NSAID NSAI-AI-AID

Call me bad names

Call me bad names

Call me bad names

UNRELEASED (1979)

LYRICS BY BONNEEAU

MUSIC BY UCHEW

CONSTIPATION CRAMP

PARODY OF CONCENTRATION CRAMP

White walls

Morning in stalls

A thousand choices echo through the strain

Stools faze

Poo abjection

Coaxes seat like teamwork

1-2-3-4...your whole body’s sweating

You squeeze and now inspection

Yes!

You meant ‘No’...

Sorry

C-c-c-c-constipation cramp

Ow-ow-ow!

Constipation cramp

UNRELEASED (1978)

LYRICS BY BONNEEAU

MUSIC BY UCHEW

ABALONE IN THE NIGHT

PARODY OF ALONE IN THE LIGHT

Pity meets night and you balked away

Don't leave me standing in the cold

Fridgerette lights

Feel my hunger alight

I need to eat abalone

We can take food tonight

We can make it, that's alright

We can ache on tonight

Don't dismiss offhand

Kitchenette whirls

Oh, my head is a swirl

To eat a supper, man

All of the hurls

We must eat like wimps

I'm drinking all these cans

We can take it with Sprite

We can flake it, that's right

We can bake it a mite

Don't dismiss offhand

The night

Abalone in the night

Abalone in the night

Abalone in the night

We can shake up our plight

We can wake up, feel right

We’ve canned hake if uptight

Don't dismiss offhand

Please, help me stand

Abalone in the night

Abalone in the night

Abalone in the night

In the shitty dim light

We’re home with eats

In the morning light

We’ve shellfish wed to our hands

Abalone in the night

Abalone in the night

Abalone in the night

In the shitty dim light

UNRELEASED (1979)

LYRICS BY BONNEEAU

MUSIC BY UCHEW

THE DRY

PARODY OF THE CRY

Canada Dry

Canada Dry

Canada Dry

Some bottle buy

Some bottle buy

Some bottle

Put the Schwepps back

Put the Schwepps back

Put the Schwepps back

Want Canada Dry

Canada Dry

Canada

Well, you can’t tell one from the other?!

UNRELEASED (1980)

LYRICS BY UCHEW

MUSIC BY UCHEW

THINGS TO MAKE

AND CHEW

[INSTRUMENTAL]

PARODY OF THINGS TO MAKE AND DO [INSTRUMENTAL]

B-SIDE (1980)

MUSIC BY UCHEW

SALTS PROFIT

PARODY OF FALSE PROPHET

I realize who you are

When the centuries fall

I know, I understand

I realize who you are

Move the roller

Work the line, boy

He talks of dreams, of promises

I know, I understand

Move the roller

Work the line

UNRELEASED (1979)

LYRICS BY BONNEEAU

MUSIC BY UCHEW

FATTER IS IRRELEVANT

PARODY OF FATHER IS AN ELEPHANT

Oh, won't you spread a schmear

For the poor, unfit dear?

‘More’ is sound business

Guilt is a renewable resource

Unlike oil

There'll always be

A well of tears to draw from

UNRELEASED (1980)

LYRICS BY BONNEEAU

MUSIC BY UCHEW

INSIDE SNOUT

PARODY OF INSIDE OUT

Late at night

When emotions heat down

I feel so bored, oh no

I shoved a fry

For applause and cheers

My art’s ‘willpower’, oh no

She said, “oh no, baby, don't

What you got to do it for

Can't go in!”

She says, “oh no, baby, don't

Let me take you to doctor’s!”

“Thank you, ‘mom’!”

You can think you’re so high

When the spoon’s lengthways in so

Take your time, feel fine

Those ladies think you’re darn high

Oh, no, no, no,

You gamble inside snout

Forever inside snout

UNRELEASED (1978)

LYRICS BY BONNEEAU

MUSIC BY UCHEW

NUTS GOING ON?

PARODY OF WHAT’S GOING ON?

Nuts going on?

Wednesday afternoon

Tired of doing cover songs

I wish I was a sundae

UNRELEASED (1976)

LYRICS BY BONNEEAU

MUSIC BY UCHEW

CHEAT ADMISSION

PARODY OF STREET MISSION

Oh, no...

Man, I just got beer

I got to drinking

I, no doubt will grieve

I bet that maybe tomorrow

A new direction I'll go

Yeah, I know, know, know

Yeah, I know, know, know

A blocked valve

My heart has a stent in

I love eclairs

My diet forbids 'choux dough'

I bet that maybe tomorrow

A new direction I'll go

Yeah, I know, know, know

Yeah, I know, know, know

Cheat admission

Cheat admission

Cheat admission

Cheat admission

I'm not promising anything

I'm just living my life

I can't manage shit

Oh, no...

Oh, no, no, no...

Cheat admission

Cheat admission

Cheat admission

Cheat admission

Hot dog stall

The doc says to rescind

There's some...

Um...

“Slippage”

Diastolic increase

My imperfections bemoan

Yeah, I know, know, know

I know, know, know

Oh, no, no, no...

Oh, no...oh, oh...

Oh, I feel something

I feel something

I need some help

I need some help

I need help

Oh, I've got shaking

I've got shaking

It's the Big One

It's the Big One

I'm so screwed!

Cheat admission

Cheat admission

Cheat admission

Cheat admission

UNRELEASED (1978)

LYRICS BY BONNEEAU

MUSIC BY UCHEW

CAT FILLET NIGHT

PARODY OF SATURDAY NIGHT

Food at Hung So Lo's

It's always full

All I wanted was the Mu Shu

There's people

All races

Children with braces

I saw along the queue

Look at a painting

A picture of food

Rendering of cats

One broods

I laughed with the others

We all thought the same

Meanwhile we're led inside

It's a Cat Fillet Night

It's a Cat Fillet Night

It's a Cat Fillet Night

It's a Cat Fillet Night

Cat Fillet Night

Cat Fillet Night

I bet that this meat might

Be a cat or two

I swear I thought

I heard something mew

“I won't go for seconds

There’s pelts in the rear!”

The waiter, for a second, sneered

It's a Cat Fillet Night

It's a Cat Fillet Night

It's a Cat Fillet Night

It's a Cat Fillet Night

Cat Fillet Night

Cat Fillet Night

“Are you bigots or satire?”,

Fortune Cookie goes

"No Garfield in deep fryer!"

And I say,

"Ah-so"...

Chow down!

FROM THE COMPILATION

‘MEDIUM RARE AND REAL PLASTERED' (2008)

LYRICS BY BONNEEAU

MUSIC BY UCHEW

TOE NIGHT

PARODY OF TONIGHT

Heyo, I tossed something

My wife is telling me

I can't go ‘wrong’

I tossed it

A single abscission

I want to hurry

But it's never as fun

­

Wish she’d come

And see the light

And make the rounds with me

You can smell my grime

And when I'm going south

Every toe is dirty

Tizzy to give my wife

I've gotta give my wife...

‘Toe Night’!

Tools graze

It’s really fun, too

I gotta love it

Gotta love I don’t mind

Clipping

A single abscission

No one scold me

When I aim at her head

I get things fixed up

When toenails bite

Cuz some days I go chewing

One thing I consider

To be right is to

Just go around and do it

I've gotta give my wife...

‘Toe Night’!

I've gotta give my wife...

‘Toe Night’!

*P-too!*

UNRELEASED (1978)

LYRICS BY BONNEEAU

MUSIC BY UCHEW

THE FUEL

PARODY OF THE FOOL

A 5-hour potion

A world that I didn't need

They walk the world, dazed

It's aways the same trade name

They’re out of mind

Out in the living world

Shout at times

Smoke break kilojoules

They call it ‘The Fuel’

A person in motion

A hero contends in vain

I down the thing two-thirds

And laugh at the product's claim

But I don't mind

I know I'm limping low down

I don't mind

Winners or users

It's all just a game

And it’s going down

And I'm swallowing down

Life has an answer

The key to fending snores

Admiting I'm laughing

Given I'm limping more

It's out of mind

Out in the living world

‘Bout damn time

Winners or users

It's always a game

And it’s going down

But I'm swallowing down

To run around

And around

And around

Around and round

There! I’m wowed!

There! I’m wowed!

So...

The Fuel I’ve downed emboldened me

So...

It's waiting there for you and me

Just a fuel

A sweet wester

The hero of society

Just a fuel

A sweet wester

Look at me!

Now can't you see?!

A 5-hour potion

A world I'm glad that isn’t ‘speed’

A person in motion

A key to the tamed brain

I don't mind

So here’s my dough

I wanna go go go go go!!!

So...

The Fuel I’ve downed emboldened me

So...

It's waiting there for you and me

Just a fuel

A sweet wester

The hero of society

Just a fuel

A sweet wester

Look at me!

Now can't you see?!

UNRELEASED (1978)

LYRICS BY BONNEEAU

MUSIC BY UCHEW

ICE CREAM IS OVER

PARODY OF THE DREAM IS OVER

Today, I'll make my way

To get a fudge parfait or sorbet

Now the ice cream's gone

The sadness gets hold

Leaves me cold

Ice cream is over

Ice cream is over

Ice cream is over

Shake head

Marshmallow and fudge streaks I've mined

Now, I'm resigned

Empty cone reminds

When I eat it all this Magnum Gold

Unconsoled

Ice cream is over

Ice cream is over

Ice cream is over

Shake head

Ice cream is over

Ice cream is over

Ice cream is over

Ice cream is over...is over

Ice cream is over

And now the ice cream's over

Ice cream is over

And now the ice cream's over

UNRELEASED (1980)

LYRICS BY BONNEEAU

MUSIC BY UCHEW

CARTON WORLD

PARODY OF CARTOON WORLD

Mr. Burk is a shop clerk

He carries paper

Or cheap plastic bags

Mr. Post-Consumer Waste Man

Take your bags back!

Choose no on bags!

Choose no on bags!

It's a carton world

It's a carton world

It's a carton world

It's a carton world

“Here we are again, Mrs. Brown

You’ve triggered on me!”

Mrs. Brown has a breakdown

“We carry shopping bags

That are plastic bags!”

Mrs. Brown is pointing hard

“To some degree you help to dirty

The ocean!”

It's a carton world

It's a carton world

It's a carton world

It really is

It's a carton world

It's a carton world

It's a carton

Mrs. Brown chides

Uncle Tony shakes and wags

He didn't give him a lot of cheer

Sacks he fills

Go up past till

Sacks he fills

To pick up glowers

And plots to kill

It's a carton world

It's a carton world

It's a carton world

It's a carton world

It's a carton world

It's a carton...

UNRELEASED (1980)

LYRICS BY BONNEEAU

MUSIC BY UCHEW

ANOTHER SPRAY

PARODY OF ANOTHER DAY

Bake up—you've drawn up another souffle

Take up—it seems far too dry today

Spray it—rather not be appalled

Ain't right—throw against the wall

Some nights you're dismayed

But you glisten your dry souffle

Another spray

Stop!

Spout!

Add some more spray!

Boy—it shoots and it transforms

Joy—golden stream adorn

Some nights you're dismayed

But you glisten your dry souffle

Another spray

Stop!

Spout!

Add some more spray!

UNRELEASED (1980)

LYRICS BY BONNEEAU

MUSIC BY UCHEW

DUTCH

PARODY OF TOUCH

Thanks to convention split

I'm pleased we’ll eat soon

Didn’t think you’d not be good with this

Let me know

I don't want your dough

I just wanna go (Dutch)

G-g-galling

Some in world are horrified

Galling

Would find it a disgrace to divide

I just wanna know

I just wanna go

D-d-dutch on you

D-d-dutch on you

D-d-dutch on you

She said, “here’s twenty, I implore”

But I said, “I can't think what it's for!”

I don't want your dough

I just wanna go

D-d-dutch on you

D-d-dutch on you

D-d-dutch on you

I'm D-d-dutching you

D-d-dutching you

D-d-dutching you

D-d-dutching you

B-SIDE (1980)

LYRICS BY BONNEEAU

MUSIC BY UCHEW

THE TV DINNER SONG

PARODY OF THE TV SONG

I dive in an ocean

A world that is frozen peas

I stalk the world of trays

It’s always the same brand names

UNRELEASED (1978)

LYRICS BY BONNEEAU

MUSIC BY UCHEW

THE SEED OF LIFE

PARODY OF THE SPEED OF LIFE

LYRICS ADDED SOON

UNRELEASED (1980)

LYRICS BY BONNEEAU

MUSIC BY UCHEW

THE KING'S GLUCOSE

PARODY OF THE KING'S NEW CLOTHES

LYRICS ADDED SOON

UNRELEASED (1979)

LYRICS BY BONNEEAU

MUSIC BY UCHEW

CRACK IN A BOX

PARODY OF JACK IN THE BOX

LYRICS ADDED SOON

UNRELEASED (1978)

LYRICS BY BONNEEAU

MUSIC BY UCHEW

PORK THE CHOP

PARODY OF PETE THE CHOP

LYRICS ADDED SOON

UNRELEASED (1978)

LYRICS BY BONNEEAU

MUSIC BY UCHEW

CHEDDAR

PARODY OF TREVOR

Thank you

I'd love a bit

I'm eating

Eating on a chunk of it

A bit

I don't want Fynbo

I don't want Añejo

Won't gnaw on Chura Kampo

The Bergkäse forego

Just give me Cheddar

My, oh my

I don't want Samsø

I don't want Mató

Cheddar seems quite sharper

Cheddar

Love forever!

Cheddar for get-togethers

Cheddar for whatever

Longing

The mensch in the store

Is hauling Brie de Meaux

Appalling!

I don't want Livno

I don't want Danbo

Cheddar seems quite sharper

Cheddar

Love forever!

Cheddar seems best sharper

Cheddar whatever

Cheddar seems quite sharper

Cheddar for get-togethers

Cheddar on those wheat crackers

Cheddar

Love forever!

UNRELEASED (1980)

LYRICS BY BONNEEAU

MUSIC BY UCHEW

1980-1983

M. MALLOW

PARODY OF J. SWALLOW

Got marshmallows

S'more making

I take one in my hand

And then guide

Branch from tree

I applied

Melting content

Withdraw

It was burning

Misgauged

On fire

I did misgauge

On fire

B-SIDE (1981)

LYRICS BY BONNEEAU

MUSIC BY UCHEW

BRIE THERE

PARODY OF BE THERE

LYRICS ADDED SOON

UNRELEASED (1982)

LYRICS BY BONNEEAU

MUSIC BY UCHEW

BACCARDI GIRL (TRASHED TRAMP AND

THE BACCARDI GIRL)

PARODY OF PARTY GIRL (TRASH, TRAMPOLINE

AND THE PARTY GIRL)

I know a girl

A girl called Baccardi

Baccardi Girl

I know she only drinks Baccardi

Baccardi Girl

And now she's onto my game

She knows my ploy

A ploy for trashed tramps, man

She knows exactly what I've planned...

God...damn

She kicked me hard

And so my testes she maims

So hard that I went cross-eyed

Then she hit me

She caught my face

And knocked out some teeth

I was wrong

Just like Mao Zedong

I've crapped my pants

My pants...

Unclean...

I know a girl

A girl called Baccardi

Baccardi Girl

I know she only drinks Baccardi

Baccardi Girl

She knows my ploy

A ploy called Benzodiazepine

You know what I mean

I think I've crapped in my pants

I think I've crapped in my pants

I think I've crapped in my pants

B-SIDE (1982)

LYRICS BY BONNEEAU

MUSIC BY UCHEW

A CONSTIPATION

PARODY OF A CELEBRATION

Ache! Ache!

Ache! Ache!

Go, go!

I believe I have constipation

I believe shit’s stuck in me

I believe I can’t loose these stools

I will leave these tight pants off me

Pants off me

Ache! Ache!

Ache! Ache!

Can’t achieve turds

Out my back door

I believe I could drop a bomb

I believe it’s from spoiled meat

But it could be from sour milk

No poo, man

Will go through

Sit on can

Go, go, go, go!

Ache! Ache!

Ache! Ache!

I am stopped inside

And everything churns round and round

Shouldn’t have had the Key Lime

My guts’ a swirl and plumbing’s down

Go, go!

I’m aggrieved

I can’t expel the White Perch

Muffins made with bran

I’m so peeved from the hell

Almond Joys have laid to my plans

No poo, man

Will go through

Sit on can

Go, go, go, go!

Number two!

I believe my colon walls could echo

(Oh, no...can’t poo)

I believe I’ll start to crown

I believe I’ll end this shitty situation

(Turned blue)

With a heave

I’ll dump ten pounds

And go, go, go, go!

No poo, man

Won’t go through

Sit on can

Go, go, go, go!

Number two!

I believe the scats’ accruing

Can’t go

Can’t poo!

NON-ALBUM SINGLE (1982)

LYRICS BY BONNEEAU

MUSIC BY UCHEW

MEASURE

(WHATEVER HAPPENED TO BEETS I'VE CHOPPED)

PARODY OF TREASURE (WHATEVER HAPPENED 

TO PETE THE CHOP)

If I could size up

The amount that I'd use

Half cup of thyme

I'd like measuring

What I need in terms of Parm

Don't have to ooze sweat glands

Guess like game shows

A utility

A utility

Fill it...

Fill a...

Fill a spoon

Marked with different amounts

While though glass cups

Break in two

Much less plastic or metal spoons

There were some times

Where I measured something wrong

I made something too strong

Now I think this time I'll get it right

Fill it up...

Fill up...

This time

Won't be wrong

If to the brim with knife I'll level

If I scaled down

A smaller one use

I can't tell if I have enough of rue

I fill halfway

A batch by hand

My life improved outright

It has a notch

Where I size right

Sanity saved

B-SIDE (1983)

LYRICS BY BONNEEAU

MUSIC BY UCHEW

A SHELL TOO FRIED

FOR THE GROUND

PARODY OF ANGELS TOO TIED TO THE GROUND

Why is it shells keep breaking in two

Why is it they haven’t made taco glue

Why is it then there’s nothing we can do

But favour the mess with some stride?

Why is it that I balk than be resigned

Why is it not made of stuff more sublime

This crumbling food braving a sight gag

Maybe just a sight gag

Spying a fool, baby

Bought a sight gag

A sight gag

A shell too fried for the ground

A shell too fried for the ground

A shell too fried for the ground

And now if only shells were instead

Redesigned to fold like bread

Fold like bread

A shell too fried for the ground

A shell too fried for the ground

A shell too fried for the ground

A shell too fried for the ground

A shell too fried for the ground

A shell too fried for the ground

FROM THE COMPILATION

‘MEDIUM RARE AND REAL PLASTERED’ (2009)

LYRICS BY BONNEEAU

MUSIC BY UCHEW

BOOM…MERINGUE I

[INSTRUMENTAL]

PARODY OF BOOMERANG I [INSTRUMENTAL]

B-SIDE (1984)

MUSIC BY UCHEW

BOOM…MERINGUE II

PARODY OF BOOMERANG II

LYRICS ADDED SOON

B-SIDE (1984)

LYRICS BY BONNEEAU

MUSIC BY UCHEW

1983-1986

LUNCH COMES FUMBLING

PARODY OF LOVE COMES TUMBLING

Lunch don't need to find you frayed

You mind your dismay

You forget that you can’t pay

And so I say that

Freeload, please, I’m a rock star

Freeload, please, I’m a rock star

The deed unwilled

The spread compiled

For you, a sturgeon tried

Chide yourself with something else

Don’t mind yourself with me

I can’t gift you lunch again?

Lunch comes fumbling down again

Lunch don't need to find you frayed

You mind your dismay

You forget that you can’t pay

And so I say that

Freeload, please, I’m a rock star

Freeload, please, I’m a rock star

FROM THE EP ‘WEDDING CAKE IN AMERICA’ (1985)

LYRICS BY BONNEEAU

MUSIC BY UCHEW

DISAPPEARING PACK

PARODY OF DISAPPEARING ACT

LYRICS ADDED SOON

BONUS TRACK (1984)

LYRICS BY BONNEEAU

MUSIC BY UCHEW

RINSE UP

PARODY OF RISE UP

LYRICS ADDED SOON

BONUS TRACK (2007)

LYRICS BY BONNEEAU

MUSIC BY UCHEW

THE THREE CUPSIZES

PARODY OF THE THREE SUNRISES

Hey, kid with the pricing gun

Fill me up

Coffee...black...

I've really gotta haul

Be here 'til I die

Don't care to wait

Soon I must be gone

This line's too long...long!

Too long...too long!

Hey, hey...

Long the grind

Grind on my way home

Line is too long...long!

Too, too long

Long line

Long line I see

Long line

Long line don't need

This line's too long...long!

Too long...too long!

Hey, hey...

Long the grind

Grind on my way home

This line's too long...long!

Too long...too long!

Long line I see

Bring me through this gas mart

I would buy you anything

I will give you a fiver

Long line

Long line I see

Long line

Long line don't need

FROM THE EP ‘WEDDING CAKE IN AMERICA’ (1985)

LYRICS BY BONNEEAU

MUSIC BY UCHEW

MARGARINE

(THEME FROM 'CRAP GIVE')

PARODY OF HEROINE (THEME FROM ‘CAPTIVE’)

Afraid butter we have none

For scone

Or hot cross bun

Address that you still

You feel it's lame

Bring up those 'facts' from CNN

Margarine

Margarine

Margarine

Margarine

"Such damn lies,"

I have spoken

Riled

"Much more doubt

Than from dairy cows!"

Rift now starts

Meal to blame

Cede next time

Give guests a blend

Margarine

Margarine

Margarine

Margarine

One bite tastes wrong

And you say,

"I'm done!"

Leave the table

And I'm frozen

Stunned

You will heed

Not waste in vain

Eat in spite

Of your dumb objections

Margarine

Margarine

Margarine

Margarine

One bite tastes wrong

And you say,

"I'm done!"

Leave the table

And I'm frozen

Stunned

You will heed

Not waste in vain

You'll spread that shite

Or help me God

You'll pay!

FROM THE ORIGINAL MOTION PICTURE SOUNDTRACK

‘CRAP GIVE’ (1986)

WRITTEN BY THE WEDGE & KOOL-AID O’CONNOR

MUSIC BY THE WEDGE & SOME OTHER GUY

FEATURING KOOL-AID O’CONNOR

SIXTY SECONDS IN

DING-DONG COME

[INSTRUMENTAL]

PARODY OF SIXTY SECONDS IN KINGDOM COME [INSTRUMENTAL]

B-SIDE (1985)

MUSIC BY UCHEW

CUMIN FISH

PARODY OF WOMANFISH

Pan fried, man

Pan fried with chili

Pan fried, man

Pan at high heat

Pan fried

Pan fried

Pan fried

Fried

Pan fried

High heat

One fish browned

One fish golden brown

One fish browned

Then ease

That battered fish around

Transfer then

To drain fish

You'll then transfer them

On paper towels

You'll put down

Loving all that cumin

Loving all

Loving all that cumin

Loving all

Loving all that cumin

Loving all

Loving all that cumin

Loving all

Pan fried, man

Pan fried with chili

Pan fried, man

Pan at high heat

One fish browned

One fish golden brown

One fish browned

Then ease that

Battered fish around

UNRELEASED (1986)

LYRICS BY BONNEEAU

MUSIC BY UCHEW

THE STRANGE HAVARTI

PARODY OF THE STRANGE PARTY

Some whey

Some out, some out, some out

Some whey

Some out, some out

Some culture add—let ripe

Some rennet add—let set

Pour out whey

Add hot water

Salt—cloth—press—brine

Some whey

Some out, some out, some out

Some whey

Some out, some out

Some whey

Some out, some out, some out

Some whey

Some out, some out

FROM THE ORIGINAL MOTION PICTURE SOUNDTRACK

‘CRAP GIVE’ (1986)

MUSIC/LYRICS BY THE WEDGE & SOME OTHER GUY

SHUN TITTY

PARODY OF SUN CITY

Shun titty

Na na na na na

Shun titty

Nna na na na na

Those knockers aren't secure

If sighted: it's wrong!

We're here to talk about breast feeding

I don't like what's going on

It's time for some justice!

It's time for the truth: we're civilized!

There's only one thing they must do!

Put those away!!!

I...I...I’m quaint

Gonna say, ‘SHUN TITTY!’

Relocation to the bathroom, ma'am

The lactation of mammaries

I can't understand

Can't feed children here

I note with their huge racks

I'm telling all mothers:

"Put those sweater cows back!"

I...I...I’m quaint

Gonna say, ‘SHUN TITTY!’

The government tells us

They're suing for their cans

Conductive arrangement

A court ordered plan

Meanwhile people are buying

And wishing to grope

This shitty democracy

Ain't nothing but a joke!

I...I...I’m quaint

Gonna say, ‘SHUN TITTY!’

Na na na na na...

Ain't time to accept their inevitability

Freedom of the cleavage?

No boobies shall I see!

Don't unhook 'the girls', ladies

They will be denied!

All boobies I'll defy!

Boob buffets?!

Take that outside!

I...I...I’m quaint

Gonna say, ‘SHUN TITTY!’

Shop and then

They'll wanna feed away

Tits they'll show like we're in Africa

No matter what I say they ignore me

It ain't fair or okay!

Disagree!

Shun titties!

But, no...

They ain't going away

I...I...I’m quaint

Gonna say, ‘SHUN TITTY!’

Relocation to the bathroom, ma'am

The lactation of mammaries

I can't understand

Can't feed children here

I note with their huge racks

I'm telling all mothers:

"Put those sweater cows back!"

I...I...I’m quaint

Gonna say, ‘SHUN TITTY!’

FROM THE COMPILATION

'ARTISTS UNITED AGAINST BREASTFEEDING' (1985)

MUSIC/LYRICS BY STEVEN VANILLA ZANDT

FEATURING VARIOUS ARTISTS LAMELY UNCOMFORTABLE WITH PUBLIC BOOBIES

DUNK CHICKEN (AMERICA)

PARODY OF DRUNK CHICKEN (AMERICA)

America

America

I’m putting you all right now on notice

America

$20.27 for ordinary, obscenely bland chicken with no kick?!

I can't stand mild, dull minds!

America

Why do you send these capsaicin snores?

Go f*ck yourself with your ‘atom bomb strength sauce’!

It ain’t real food if it don't bother me!

I won't bite your chicken till it’s the smite kind

America

When will you eat pyretic?

When will you make stuff like pros?

When will you cook me chicken that I crave?

When will you be worthy of my vermilion appetite?

America

Why can’t you make me wheeze full of tears?

America

When will you trend with Bhut Jolokia?

I'm sick of your mild, lame store brands!

When can I go into the supermarket

And buy what I need without weird looks?

America

After all it is you—not I—who are defect

Hot’s a vexxed world

Your chickenshittery is too much for me

You made meat taunting me with red paint

There must be some other way to settle this benumbment

Dispose of these sans-sears

I don't think I’ll come back

It's insular

Are you being insular?!

Or is this some form of practical joke?!

I'm trying to come to the point

I refuse to give up my digression

America

Stop pushing pollo not worth chewing

America

The drumsticks here are galling

I haven't watched the YouTubers for months

Everyday some dummy goes through trials

For ardour

BONUS TRACK (2007)

WRITTEN BY ALLEN GINSENG

MUSIC BY UCHEW

FEATURING ALLEN GINSENG

DEEP IN THE TART

PARODY OF DEEP IN THE HEART

That smell...

Everything smells like it'll taste alright

That smell...

Everything smells good to a big appetite

Diner looks old

Sweet to my nose

The tables are quite wafer thin

Lunch has been assigned

Dessert at first declined

That smell...

It piques my whim

Deep in the tart

Deep in the tart with my face

Deep in the tart

Deep in the tart in this place

More proposed to eat right now

A hippo I feel but I crave despite

Keen as some thieves

As some more tart the waitress brings

It's like homemade

And the price's just right

Deep in the tart

Deep in the tart with my face

Deep in the tart

Deep in the tart in this place

More proposed to eat right now

A hippo I feel but I crave despite

Keen as some thieves

As some more tart the waitress brings

It's like homemade

And the price's just right

Couldn't be sweeter

My tastebuds still purr

I must return to this place

Who'd have guessed?

That smell...

I couldn't eat one more bite

That smell...

I'm taking some home

That's right

Deep in the tart

Deep in the tart with my face

Deep in the tart

Deep in the tart in this place

B-SIDE (1987)

LYRICS BY BONNEEAU

MUSIC BY UCHEW

BEAUTIFUL ROAST (SONGS OF EXPIRED SENSE)

PARODY OF BEAUTIFUL GHOST

(INTRODUCTION TO SONGS OF EXPERIENCE)

LYRICS ADDED SOON

BONUS TRACK (2004)

LYRICS BY BONNEEAU

MUSIC BY UCHEW

SPANISH EGGS

PARODY OF SPANISH EYES

Hey, hey, hey!

Mmmm...

Baby, pan’s on

Baby, pan’s on

Hey, hey, hey!

Mmmm...

Baby, pan’s on!

Bad for your heart

But right for your palette

Pan’s on the ol’ stove

Heat up chiles and onions

Hey, hey, hey!

Mmmm...

Baby, pan’s on!

I love ‘em like cocaine

Oh, those Spanish Eggs

Spanish Eggs

Hey, hey...

Pass me some cayenne

For flavour

I’ll throw on half a slab of bacon

Cause I love the way

It tastes to me

And I love the way

It’s based on my recipe

And I’ll feed you

Oh, you’ll thank me

I love ‘em like cocaine

Oh, those Spanish Eggs

Spanish Eggs

A sauce I’ll whirl on

That’s tangy and bold

Oh, these Spanish Eggs

Your mouth will foam…

More cayenne!

Hey, hey, hey!

Mmmm...

Baby, pan’s on

Hey, hey...

These peppers I’ll cut

And add some basil (adds bite)

And Oregano’s advised

Outstanding plump tomatoes

Sauted mushrooms just right

For I’m a believer

Forever I’ll eat when I get up

A dozen eggs I beat

Hey, hey, hey...

Baby, pan’s on...

Pan’s on

Hey, hey, hey...

Baby, pan’s on...

Pan’s on

Cause I love the way

It tastes to me

And I love the way

It’s based on my recipe

And I’ll feed you

B-SIDE (1987)

LYRICS BY BONNEEAU

MUSIC BY UCHEW

FLUMINOUS TIMES

(HOLD ON TO LUNCH)

PARODY OF LUMINOUS TIMES (HOLD ON TO LOVE)

Hey, midst of lunch

Hey, midst of sole

Hey, hold my lunch

Can’t eat another lil bite

Hey, midst of lunch

Save my sole

Save my sole

Hold on to lunch

Hold on to lunch

Lunch I’ll get to go

Lunch I’ll get to go

Hold on to lunch

Need the Pork Bites in a bowl

Hey, midst of lunch

Hey, seize the Pork Bites

Seize some Pike Casserole

Seizes the Cheese Wheel

She turned her head around

Turned her head around

Seizes the Souffle

Seizes the Whipped Cream

Seizes Pudding Mound

Hold on to lunch

Hold on to lunch

Lunch I’ll get to go

Hold on to lunch

Hold on to lunch

Need the Pork Bites

Grabbed along

Need the Pork Bites in a bowl

Seizes Chicken Fryers

Seizes Taters (Mashed)

Seizes the Dip that’s Ranch

Seizes the plunder

Sees to then save me

When she bills me under

I love food cuz I need to

Not because I need food

I love food cuz I understand

That God has given me 10 grand

I hold it like a Bolshevist

But still I’m Capitalist

Hold on to lunch

Need the Pork Bites in a bowl

Need the Pork Bites in a bowl

B-SIDE (1987)

LYRICS BY BONNEEAU

MUSIC BY UCHEW

STAVE OFF SBARRO'S (FOOD COURT)

PARODY OF WAVE OF SORROW (BIRDLAND)

We're appraising the food court's bill

To make up our minds

On where we'd like to chill

We talked of our plight

On what to eat today

One bring's up Sbarro's

And I just had to say:

Oh, this I'll shun

It's pizza overdone

I'd brutally get the runs

Won't eat at Sbarro's like everyone

So I shall abstain

So I shall abstain now...

Bowls of pasta without much cheese

Banquet of stale veggies

A stick of bread displease

Nor Stromboli can appease

So I shall abstain

So I shall abstain now...

I won't throw money away

I shall stave off Sbarro's

I'll stave off Sbarro's

Where chow is wholly shitty

Where there's some stale garlic rolls

Where there's just dry Pepperoni sticks

And the salads are pretty old

I'll confide I vote down

Let's not linger at Hell's own clone

It's all very sickening you're foretold

Oh, the Sicilian's a small thing

What great harm could one bring

What suffering could it sling

Where one is real sick on a toilet rim

So I shall abstain

So I shall abstain now...

I won't throw money away

I shall stave off Sbarro's

I'll stave...

I'll stave off Sbarro's

Blessed are the geeks who opt to avert

For when they avoid it won't add to their girth

Blessed are the kids who chase Sushi jones

They won't ingest a volley of sighs & moans

Blessed are those who are simply smart

For choosing instead from a sausage roll cart

Blessed are amigos

Wise in how they spend their lunch hour

Blessed is the choice that seeks youth to glower

Blessed is the day worker with burger & Sprite

The clerks sharing a sandwich with a knife

Blessed is Lil' Jeff who's ordered some ice cream

Blessed are those at Bagels Extreme

Blessed are the men who got Dim Sum

And blessed are those

Who have picked chicken drums

BONUS TRACK (2007)

LYRICS BY BONNEEAU

MUSIC BY UCHEW

DESSERT

OF OUR LUNCH

PARODY OF DESERT OF OUR LOVE

Alright

Flan of gold and Kalamai

Petit four and Mazarin

And devil food cake bites

A meal requires delights

Throw in Profiterole

And throw in some Gözleme

Cream horn I would love

With a fresh Schnecken

I believe that this lunch needs Baumkuchen

Alright

Is there some Butterkuchen?

Bombolone or Turkish Delight?

I think I'd love a bowl of Scuppernong

Eat me up some more of your desserts

Cashew Meringues & Jam

I need something more

Don't mind having some fudge bars

After lunch

I'll just shove sweet balls in my face

Feeling like some sour cream pound cake

Say, I'll have a fruit parfait and sorbet

Gonna need to unburden you of pie!

Oh, yeah!

Alright

For the dessert of our lunch

For the dessert of our lunch

Oh, I'm feeling: Marzipan!

Won't be full even then

Go in for more...more!

Feed me what's untried...

Sweet? Brown?

I'd love some fried Ding Dongs!

Feed after lunch I'd love...uh...

Some Chokladboll

A Bolo Rei, Greek yoghurt...plain

Throw in congealed Quetschentaart

Appetite deceives me

Full all along...

BONUS TRACK (2007)

LYRICS BY BONNEEAU

MUSIC BY UCHEW

MILD FAIRISH NOSE

PARODY OF WILD IRISH ROSE

LYRICS ADDED SOON

UNRELEASED (1990)

LYRICS BY BONNEEAU

MUSIC BY UCHEW

SEIZE A MYSTERY

OF MEAT

PARODY OF SHE’S A MYSTERY TO ME

Porkness falls

And you will rake it by the hand

Caked meat now beneath night stand

Were all for lunch today

Where I can’t mind it’s waste

Without hair on its side

Germs crawl

That’ll blast pass white blood cells

Insect comes not having a bite as well

Now my stomach churns

And churns cuz I’m hungry

Seize that mystery of meat?

Seize that mystery curl?

Seize that mystery curl?

In the sight of lunch that’s tangled up with hair

Spurred soon to persevere

A lunch won’t thwart my gut

Like I’ve displayed I’m not smart

Not fearing these pig parts

I dare chest pain and feeding start

It’s gaunt but done this mulling abstract art

Fallen sausage lies and I just knelt away

Seize that mystery of meat!

Seize that mystery curl!

Seize that mystery curl!!

Seize that mystery curl!

Seize that mystery curl?

Taunted by peptides

Is cartharsis jeopardized?

That so now craves meat

But if my lunch’s maligned?

Then I’m not wont to eat

Seize that mystery of meat

Germs crawl

That’ll blast pass white blood cells

Insect comes not having a bite as well

Now my stomach churns

And churns cuz I’m hungry

Seize that mystery of meat!

Seize that mystery curl!

Seize that mystery curl!

Seize that mystery curl!

Seize that mystery curl!

Seize that mystery curl!

Seize that mystery curl!

Seize that mystery curl!

Seize that mystery curl!

Seize that mystery curl!

Seize that mystery curl!

UNRELEASED (1987)

LYRICS BY BONNEEAU

MUSIC BY UCHEW

HALLELUJAH

(EARS OF CORN)

PARODY OF HALLELUJAH (HERE SHE COMES)

I eat till I’ve had my fill

I plough through ‘em boiled or grilled

Hallelujah...ears of corn

I eat ‘em meal or snack

Cellulose out my butt crack

Hallelujah...ears of corn

Corn is maize

And grown the world round

Last year just shy

Of 2 trillion pounds

Now I take loads of this stuff

Make some fuel and fill ‘er up

Hallelujah...ears of corn

Ya know...husks, please, don’t dispose

Biodiesel comes out this hose

Hallelujah...ears of corn

Corn is phazed

Into most foods, I’ve found

Might explain

Why we’ve gained those pounds

It’s causing higher, higher

Higher glucose

Higher, higher, high in blood

Higher, higher, high in blood

Higher, higher, high in blood

I’m gonna need care

When my life’s on the line

I’m gonna just care

When my heart might not feel fine

I’m gonna eat ears of corn

Yeah...ears of corn

I drink it when distilled

They grow a lot in Brazil

Hallelujah...ears of corn

I heat kernels in a sack

Won’t pop if moisture lack

Hallelujah...ears of corn

Corn is raised

In reds, yellows, and browns

Price gets so high

They can’t come down

I’m gonna not care

Higher, higher levels in my bloodd

Gonna get higher, higher

High levels in blood

Gonna get higher, higher

High levels in blood

Gonna get higher, higher

High levels in blood

Higher, higher levels in my blood

Higher, higher levels in my blood

Higher, higher levels in my blood

Higher, higher levels in my blood

I’m gonna not care

Higher, higher levels in my blood

I’ve got levels that’re fine

I’m gonna heat up some cobs tonight

Higher, higher levels in my blood

Eat more, man

Hallelujah...ears of corn

Ears of corn, ears of corn

Ears of corn, ears of corn

Oh, ears of corn, ears of corn

Oh, ears of corn, ears of corn

Higher, higher levels in my blood

Higher, higher levels in my blood

B-SIDE (1988)

LYRICS BY BONNEEAU

MUSIC BY UCHEW

A BOOM AT 

THE HIGH SCHOOL 

BAKE SALE

PARODY OF A ROOM AT THE HEARTBREAK HOTEL

That muffin stand actually has a queue!

Last year it was getting exactly none

Holy cow! These crowds are huge!

Peanut bars and cherry pies

Here at a booth we raffle off a prize

We have soda cans, bags of Doritos

Would you like a cinnamon roll?

Uh, huh

Man, I don’t know what I was afraid of

They’re even buying the croissants

Stuff that we feared we couldn’t give away

A success undreamed of

This fundraiser sure wasn’t in vain

So undreamed of...

A Boom at the High...

High School Bake Sale

Push comes to shove we made the money

Thought this would suck—now, it’s kinda funny

Budget licked—out of the heat

Hoping this fixes our balance sheet

I like it, yeah

It wasn’t a pain

Thought it’d be shitty...maybe

What do I know?

Suffice it for me to say:

A success undreamed of

This fundraiser sure wasn’t in vain

So undreamed of

A Boom at the High...

High School Bake Sale

A Boom at the High School

The High School...

The High School Bake Sale...

Bake Sale...

A Boom at the High School

The High School...

The High School Bake Sale...

Bake Sale...

A Boom at the High School

The High School...

The High School Bake Sale...

Bake Sale...

A Boom at the High School

The High School...

The High School Bake Sale...

Bake Sale...

Hallelujah!

Said halle-hello...

Hell yeah!

Said hallelujah!

A Boom at the High School...

The High School...

The High School Bake Sale...

Bake Sale

Halle, halle, halle, hallelujah!

Halle, halle, halle, hallelujah!

A Boom at the High School...

The High School...

The High School Bake Sale...

Bake Sale

Halle, halle, halle, hallelujah!

Halle, halle, halle, hallelujah!

Halle, halle, halle, hallelujah!

Halle, halle, halle, hallelujah!

A Boom at the High School...

The High School...

The High School Bake Sale

Bake Sale...

A Boom at the High School...

The High School...

The High School Bake Sale

Bake Sale...

B-SIDE (1988)

LYRICS BY BONNEEAU

MUSIC BY UCHEW

BALK AT THE WATER

PARODY OF WALK TO THE WATER

The head of Nestle Co.

His theft befits a glutton

You've read the news?

I've read the news

Around his neck

With hands my rage express

"Access to water's

Not a human right," he said

"It belongs to Nestle."

He's just like Ian Holm

In Aliens for evil chill

We're left now with some dry land

They've drawn up lakes entirely

He said he was a capitalist

But he's really a feudal lord

Our great capitalist betters

Our great capitalist betters

He is swindling folks

No fate better than prison for him

They'll draw waterways

Leave stripped our lake beds

The dregs accost

Our eyes wide open

For pennies they were sold

And now they'll feel our scorn

To the bone...

They'd be skinned

To the bone...

They'd be skinned

Balk, balk, balk

At the water

Balk at Nestle

They're vile

Balk, balk, balk

That they provide

Royalties too light

We're doomed

Unless we clamp down

We've lake draining blues

A class action civil case

Full of accusations of greed

Not looking like we'll win, though

Be shocking if it'll go our way

We're on the right side

Let us win!

Nestle...

Screw you!

Nestle...

Screw you!

Nestle...

Balk, balk, balk

At the water

Balk at Nestle...

Yeah

Balk, balk, balk

At the free ride

We will see that end!

B-SIDE (1983)

LYRICS BY BONNEEAU

MUSIC BY UCHEW

EVIAN IN HELL

PARODY OF HEAVEN AND HELL

I used to drink lots of something special

I haven't got that in a while

I'd like to have plenty up to eye level

A high water level

Would make me smile

Bring an angel with a cold glass

Or an ice pick to brain me at last

I could ingest a whole lagoon

Just baptized in Evian

How I could drown!

I would accede

To all of God's wrath

Just to enjoy

One cold water-filled carafe

There is no plumbing

Thirst is suffered

As I've discovered

There's no Evian...

Evian...

Evian in Hell

Evian...

Evian...

Evian...

Evian in Hell

I'd be able to drink countless cups

Until I dropped dead

Completely stuffed

I daydream

That the floor is an ice floe

Not the grotesque hell

Where the damned go

I wish for Evian...

Evian...

Evian in Hell

I wish for Evian...

Evian...

Evian...

Evian in Hell

Baby, Evian...

Evian...

Evian in Hell

B-SIDE (1990)

LYRICS BY BONNEEAU

MUSIC BY UCHEW

DOWN ALL THE LAYS

PARODY OF DOWN ALL THE DAYS

I spy a sack

I’ve been so hungry

I steer my gut and stealth perform

These chips I sneak

With stomach rumbling

Down all the Lays

Down all the Lays

The chips I buy

Are quickly slaughtered

And then I sigh

Back to the store I’m bound

My cart is buried

Cashier rolls eyes

Unadmiring

Down all the Lays

Down all the Lays

Down all the Lays

Down all the Lays

Down all the Lays

Lays, Lays

Down all the Lays

Lays, Lays

I have to stock

Lays, Lays

Can believe

It’s some kind of drug

Lays, Lays

Could eat a bag right now

Lays, Lays

Can’t have just one!

Lays, Lays

Lays, Lays

Lays

The salt’s been disallowed

So fat’s a big sin now

When the doctor asked

To see me he frowned

And said I need heart surgery

Right then I groaned

“I don’t suppose there’s a pill

To beat this desire?!”

Now life is dreary, empty

And drags along