FOODROPA


PARODY OF ZOOROPA


FOODROPA

BABYPASTE

GUM

MELON

STAINED (SCOUR AWAY SOILED CLOTHES!)

DADDY’S GONNA PAY FOR YOUR CACHED JAR

THE WORST THYME

SOME WAYS ARE BETTER THAN MOTHER’S

DIRTY PLATE

THE SQUANDERER



JULY 1993

x

FOODROPA


PARODY OF ZOOROPA


Foodropa

Vorsprung durch Überkonsum

Foodropa

A food court with Playroom

Next to Winners

Eat here for dinner


Foodropa

We can recycle on site

Foodropa

We close at 9pm tonight

It can sit 2,000

So please bring a friend


Foodropa

Family friendly design

Foodropa

A place where you can unwind

It’s somewhere to be seen

We’re featured in magazines


And you’ll have lots of fun

And here’s YOU on the map

And we have 50 franchises

Full of tasty snacks

And you’ll find lots of bargains

And a nursery for tots

And there’s just no limit

No limit to what we’ve got


Don’t worry, baby

It’ll be alright

After you buy those shoes

Those shopping bags aren’t light

It’s comfortable here

And brightly lit

We have a Subway

And we have a new McDonald’s

Come out to the food court, baby

Free coupons for mommy & baby

From McDonald’s


No particular parking place

No particular door

We’re at the centre of it all

More than ever before


Don’t worry, baby

It’s gonna be alright

You’ll feel great again

After a quick bite

So many choices

Multiple choices

Out in the food court

Let’s go!

Let’s go over there!

Take your family there

With you, baby


Our engineers dreamed up

A world that you could live in

They came up with Foodropa

They came up with Foodropa

Foodropa


TRACK 1


SINGLE RELEASED JUNE 1992

LYRICS BY BONNEEAU

MUSIC BY UCHEW

BABYPASTE


PARODY OF BABYFACE

Watching his bright blue eyes

In the feed game

I’ve cleaned him so many times

I feel like this may be without end

He’ll wanna dine...and dine

Oh my

Messed up like his debris tray


Baby paste, baby paste

Hey now, child

Let me wipe down your face

Baby paste, baby paste

Hey, honey?!

Please, pick up more on your way!

How could someone so small

Eat this much at all?!


Gumming foam late at night

So churns my spawn

He seems to think it’s a game

He just wants more food inside

Churning around and around

I think he’s found

That we are under his control

Go round and around

Going down

Messed up like his debris tray


Baby paste, baby paste

Got some in his hair

And some on his waist

Baby paste, baby paste

Hey, honey!

Change him while I clean up this place

How could someone who crawls

Get so much on the walls?!


Baby paste, baby paste

Slow down, child

You just went through a case!

Baby paste, baby paste

Hey, honey!

Doctor says he might lack lactase

This sure explains why he bawls

And his diapers are a haul!


TRACK 2


LYRICS BY BONNEEAU

MUSIC BY UCHEW

GUM


PARODY OF NUMB

Don’t chew

And talk at the same time

It’s pink

Rubbery

Best thing ever designed

I find

It’s fab

Chew much

It’s dope and as such

I knead

And cleave

With my teeth

Do check on seat

If jerks have dispensed

Stuck under

Wrecks slacks

Say bye to those pants


Saboteurs

Ruin walks

Someone stuck

Gum in a lock

Such feat secrete

Take fists to that creep


The flavour might wane

Deplete

Refill

So bliss is sustained

Won’t end the thrill

Until bubbles you form

Hard to inflate

Devour gumballs

And increase that rate

I love to masticate


Wax

On some poured

Sorbitol

Cavities ward

Just a quarter affords

It’s a deal

You can’t ignore


I chew gum

I chew gum

(Bubbles I want to puff)


Don’t buy that brand

(Cinnamon is hot)

Don’t chew a rubber band

(Melon is juicy wet)

Don’t scrape

Don’t gape

Or your mouth

I’ll duct tape

(Cherry I adore)

This doesn’t taste like grape

(Kiwi is tasty stuff)


This deed

It’s idyll

But jackals malign

(In Singapore, jail you’ll net)

The nerve!

Undeserved!

Screw Singapore!

(I chew gum)

Buy, try, lurv

(I chew gum)


There’s sugar-free

Econo-size Polar Ice

(Gum is what I got)

Mint

Cran-Citrus

Apple Surprise

(Gum keeps my mouth wet)

The stuff I love to puff

(Gum beats eating snot)

I chew gum


Won’t lie

I buy supplies

Stacked high

Teeth stained

Jaw strained

(I chew gum)

But no weight gain!

(I chew gum)


Not a chump

Who smokes

Who drinks

Does coke

A freak tweaked

(I chew gum)

Or piqued for boiled leeks

(I chew gum)

Chiclets

(I chew gum)

Don’t suggest

Ingest

Don’t eject on cement

Shoes wrecked

(I chew gum)

Don’t suggest

Ingest

(Gum is what I got)


A mouthful at work

White collar

Mail clerk

I’d dish with Trish

On the new brands stores get

(I chew gum)


Wild Peach

Taste leeched

Just eat some more

(I chew gum)

I puff that sticky stuff

(I chew gum)


Spearmint?

I’ve got lots

(I chew gum)

Don’t forego

Partake!

Trident?

Maybe some Nicorette?

(I chew gum)

A meal? I’ll pass

Digress

Deny

Just feel

Food’s such a bore

(I chew gum)

Plant stuff

Derived

Face stuffer

Sublime

All flavours devised

I’ll try

(I chew gum)


Don’t eject

Don’t you wreck

My trek

(I chew gum)


Don’t expel

Ingest

Don’t eject

Don’t you wreck

My trek

(I chew gum)

Don’t expel

Ingest

(I chew gum)


TRACK 3


SINGLE RELEASED JUNE 1993

LYRICS BY THE WEDGE

MUSIC BY UCHEW

MELON


PARODY OF LEMON

Melon

See-through in the sunlight

She bore melons

But never were a birthright

She's gonna make you shy

She's gonna make you whisper and groan

And when you're a spy

She draws her water standing prone


And I feel

Like hand slowly, slowly, slowly slipping under

And I feel

Like HRs scolding over nothing


She bore melons

White collar who is old craves sight

She was heaving

And her sweater on so tight


A man makes a picture

A mental picture

Through work site subjected

He can feel himself up close

A man procures lawyers

A man likes to stare

He turns his money into legal fight

To look at her


And I feel

Like I'm lifting, lifting, lifting what she wore

And I feel

Like I'm shimmying to HR


Midnight is when leave pay begins

Midnight is when leave pay begins

Midnight is when leave pay begins

Midnight is when leave pay begins


Melon

See through in the sunlight


A man builds a titty

With tanks of chemicals

A man sets a hand

So he can feel the girl bestride

(You're gonna meet HR there)

A man takes a car

(She shares declaration)

And guilt is showed to ruin him on

(You gotta get to HR)

A man's schemes she's grieving

(She's immoderation)

But he always stays assigned


And these are the days

When our quirk has come asunder

And these are the days

When we crook on someone's mother


Midnight is when leave pay begins

Midnight is when leave pay begins

Midnight is when leave pay begins

Midnight is when leave pay begins


Midnight is when leave pay begins

Midnight is when leave pay begins

Midnight is when leave pay begins

Midnight is when leave pay begins


A man makes a picture

A mental picture

Through work site subjected

He can feel himself up close

A man procures lawyers

(You're gonna meet HR there)

A man likes to dare

(She's your declamation)

He turns his money into legal fight

(There's no creeping there)

To look at her

(She's insinuation)


She is the screamer

(Melon)

She's immoderation

(She was heaving)

Through work site subjected

He can feel himself up close

(Heaving and lilting)

She bore melons


TRACK 4


SINGLE RELEASED SEPTEMBER 1993

LYRICS BY BONNEEAU

MUSIC BY UCHEW

STAINED

(SCOUR AWAY SOILED CLOTHES!


PARODY OF STAY (FARAWAY, SO CLOSE!)


Green blight, a smudge of cayenne

You dropped bits from a snack of chocolates

You spilled Coke

And Mountain Dew

Hey, now

A speck that’s strange!


Messed up from a beer bash

Your meals are turning whites to brown

If you had your wits about you

You’d be fine

But the dirt is showing right through

To the other side

Come on now

Give us a break!


Red site, greasy ring

You fumbled

With a bowl of beef ground

Your attire

So far from prim

Your friends don’t stick around


You used to take up

Laundering your shirts

In the sink

In the bathroom

And is that gook

Some gooked-up pee?

Why do you balk at being clean?

I’m scared to touch you

You’re covered with things


If there’s a stain

Then you might want

To wipe it up

Stained

And you may earn some disgust

Stained

This chore can get too tough


Scour away soiled clothes

Find out which fabric

Or cotton ratio

With a colour safe composition

You can wash anything

Ramie...

Denim Jeans...

Lycra...

Satin...

Or Linen


And if there’s no Cheer

Or even All

And if there’s no Tide

Or BioWashBall

Reach for the Shout

It just might help you


If there’s a stain

Then you might want

To wipe it up

Stained

And you may earn

Some disgust

Stained

Before those get too tough


Three o’clock in the morning

At the laundromat

There’s no one around

Just the clang and the clatter

As your laundry’s goin’ round

Just the clang and the clatter

As your laundry’s goin’ round


TRACK 5


SINGLE RELEASED NOVEMBER 1993

LYRICS BY BONNEEAU

MUSIC BY UCHEW

DADDY’S GONNA PAY FOR YOUR CASHED JAR


PARODY OF DADDY’S GONNA PAY 

FOR YOUR CRASHED CAR


You bought delicious scones

You let out a groan

He emptied the last jar

Which you’ve hurled

And he must atone

Daddy—that goddamn *bleep*

Daddy—that little snake

Daddy doesn’t replace the Nutella he takes


Muah ha, ha, ha

Muah ha, ha, ha

Daddy’s gonna pay for your cashed jar


You spittle outright

In his Cafe Swiss

Butterfly chrysalis

Gives his hash browns a twist

Then you give daddy ‘something’

In his bacon strips

Pale kitten barf in his pancake mix


Muah ha, ha, ha

Muah ha, ha, ha

Daddy’s gonna pay for your cashed jar


You’re waging a war that’s gastric

Give him ripened prawn

Naja Jolokia

Makes daddy’s meals mite strong

Give him Reflux Disease

And a flaming scar

Patty substituted

With an Ex-Lax bar


Daddy’s discomfort

Daddy’s poor rear end

Daddy’ll think twice

Next time your spread expend


Muah ha, ha, ha

Muah ha, ha, ha

Daddy’s gonna pay for your cashed jar

Daddy’s gonna pay for your cashed jar


Sundae?

Fart spray!

Fillet?

Bowel pain!

Cheese tray?

Foul play underway all night!

Sundae?

Fart spray!

Fillet?

Bowel pain!

Cheese tray?

Foul play underway all night!

Sundae?

Fart spray!

Fillet?

Bowel pain!

Cheese tray?

Foul play underway all night!


TRACK 6


LYRICS BY BONNEEAU

MUSIC BY UCHEW

SOME WAYSARE BETTER 

THAN MOTHER’S


PARODY OF SOME DAYS ARE BETTER THAN OTHERS


Some ways are dry

Some ways are leaky

Some ways are clean

Other ways are reeky

Some ways make less

But most ways cost more

Some ways skip through the figures

And—pronto—you pour


Some ways are quick

But most ways aren’t speedy

Some ways use 1/4th

More than is necessary

Some ways just opt to adjust

Some ways are better than Mother’s


Some ways

You call dad up

Say what you’re taught was not enough

Some ways are better than Mother’s


Some ways are drippy

Others ways are sloppy

Some ways you’ve scanned

From website of a yuppie

Stroke chin mid-bite

And think: “had I my druthers

Some ways are better than Mother’s”


Some ways you make up

For your lack of training

Some mommies’ ways

You wish weren’t constraining

Some ways are sucky

Some ways might-have-been

And some ways you counter

Are better than kin’s


Some ways

Your peers rejoice

Making food with a knowledge base

Some ways are better than Mother’s


Some ways will impress

Some ways will not

Some ways you’re thankful

For broth you’ve got

Some ways you fake it

And it’s barmy

Some ways there’s just enmity


Some ways will work

Most ways are lazy

Some ways you feel

Like a twit who gets plaguey

Cookin’ a thesis

That has you bothered

Some ways are better than Mother’s


Some days

You feel misled

It’s common sense you’ll use instead

Some ways are better than Mother’s


Some ways

It’s clear your choice

Making meals that aren’t a disgrace

Some ways are better than Mother’s


TRACK 7


LYRICS BY BONNEEAU

MUSIC BY UCHEW

THE WORST THYME


PARODY OF THE FIRST TIME


I have discovered

Discovered that my mother

Had put old, old, old herbs/mold

Accidently in her cooking

Threw up colours

I never thought I’d see

Gave me food poisoning

By way of allergies

It was the worst thyme

I’m sure of


I was discoloured

So discoloured I cede

I spent the whole day

On plumbing

Rear end just running out of me

I feared my health going down

“Help,” I called

And they came around

It was the worst thyme

I’m sure of


Had hotter and more rich, man

But I swear my ass be broke

Gave me these pills

And kept ‘em coming

Gave me cups of Jell-O

Doc said, “I see many patients

And there are many with disease

But you tore out your back door

And it’s like nothing I’ve ever seen!

And it’s like nothing I’ve ever seen!

Yeah, it’s like nothing I’ve ever seen!

Yeah, it’s like nothing I’ve ever seen!

That’s the worst thyme

That’s the worst thyme

That’s the worst thyme

I’ve heard of!”


TRACK 8


LYRICS BY BONNEEAU

MUSIC BY UCHEW

DIRTY PLATE


PARODY OF DIRTY DAY


Let me show you

You can see it’s no mere whit

I have a salad bowl

If it’s sanitized—I have doubts

I’d say be careful with my claim

Because I might have your health permit

You can have this chance

To make everything right

This plate is totally unfit!


Quality’s down

That’s not the way it used to be

I’m a VIP Member

Mister...

Don’t you ever forget!


This is a dirty plate!

A dirty plate!


Don’t want salmonella

I hope you understand

Now go back from whence you came

And take a look back there

You’re bound to find one not dirty


Listen to me, son

If one shits

And has the runs

And a jerk’s hygiene’s none

It won’t be fun


And, son...

Don’t be dismissin’ grime

And, son...

Don’t be dismissin’ grime

And, son...

Don’t be dismissin’ grime


There’s no suds inside that sink?

Go earn your pay

Nothing happens till ya make a stink

This cup

Well...since you’re kitchen bound

Get one new

More so now

With this smear that I’ve found


I say the ways, way, ways

This plate could be the source of some ills

The ways, way, ways

This plate could be the source of some ills

I say the ways, way, ways

This plate could be the source of some ills

The ways, way, ways

This plate could be the source of some ills

I say the ways, way, ways

This plate could be the source of some ills

The ways, way, ways

This plate could be the source of some ills


TRACK 9


LYRICS BY BONNEEAU

MUSIC BY UCHEW

THE SQUANDERER


PARODY OF THE WANDERER

I went out shopping

As if streets paved with gold

Gift cards were blown

Saw buckskin trombone

And a shitty crystal punch bowl

I went on shopping

Under economic high

Like 10 pound brass urns

To contain Sauternes

Which appears was not a good buy


Yeah, I’ve spent for nothing

Nothing that I’ve bought has use

I went squandering

I went gifting

Shoes and victuals for kin

Where men post hoc

Can really balk

And sons turn to fathers’ gin

I shopped inside a greenhouse

Where the citizens like to hit

I say I want Wild Goose Plum

But I don’t want sod with it


I spent on...

Buying gown that’s old and arcane

Amassed—uh—a thousand wines

Looking not at the name


Yeah, I’ve spent for nothing

And I bought a gold leaf pear, too

Looking cuckoo


I went out there

In search of luxuriance

Too wasted

And—as such—did not feel cost much

As a man can sober

And prevents


I went out searching

Looking for one good flan

A spirit who should not spend on cake

Who would hit that on his night stand

I went out shopping

With a vital lack of funds

The bird I’ve bought

Stays levied on my card

I was sure it was just one


Now—Jesus!

It all adds up!

Jesus!

It’s all ballooned!

Yeah, I spent and have the vapours

Holding a big black bassoon

Yeah, I’m left with enough things

That I bought

My welfare’s screwed

Looking unshrew

Yeah, I’ve spent for nothing

Nothing that I’ve bought has use

I went squandering


TRACK 10


LYRICS BY BONNEEAU

MUSIC BY UCHEW

GUEST VOCALS BY JOHNNY CASHEW