FOODROPA
PARODY OF ZOOROPA
FOODROPA
BABYPASTE
GUM
MELON
STAINED (SCOUR AWAY SOILED CLOTHES!)
DADDY’S GONNA PAY FOR YOUR CACHED JAR
THE WORST THYME
SOME WAYS ARE BETTER THAN MOTHER’S
DIRTY PLATE
THE SQUANDERER
JULY 1993
x
FOODROPA
PARODY OF ZOOROPA
Foodropa
Vorsprung durch Überkonsum
Foodropa
A food court with Playroom
Next to Winners
Eat here for dinner
Foodropa
We can recycle on site
Foodropa
We close at 9pm tonight
It can sit 2,000
So please bring a friend
Foodropa
Family friendly design
Foodropa
A place where you can unwind
It’s somewhere to be seen
We’re featured in magazines
And you’ll have lots of fun
And here’s YOU on the map
And we have 50 franchises
Full of tasty snacks
And you’ll find lots of bargains
And a nursery for tots
And there’s just no limit
No limit to what we’ve got
Don’t worry, baby
It’ll be alright
After you buy those shoes
Those shopping bags aren’t light
It’s comfortable here
And brightly lit
We have a Subway
And we have a new McDonald’s
Come out to the food court, baby
Free coupons for mommy & baby
From McDonald’s
No particular parking place
No particular door
We’re at the centre of it all
More than ever before
Don’t worry, baby
It’s gonna be alright
You’ll feel great again
After a quick bite
So many choices
Multiple choices
Out in the food court
Let’s go!
Let’s go over there!
Take your family there
With you, baby
Our engineers dreamed up
A world that you could live in
They came up with Foodropa
They came up with Foodropa
Foodropa
TRACK 1
SINGLE RELEASED JUNE 1992
LYRICS BY BONNEEAU
MUSIC BY UCHEW
BABYPASTE
PARODY OF BABYFACE
Watching his bright blue eyes
In the feed game
I’ve cleaned him so many times
I feel like this may be without end
He’ll wanna dine...and dine
Oh my
Messed up like his debris tray
Baby paste, baby paste
Hey now, child
Let me wipe down your face
Baby paste, baby paste
Hey, honey?!
Please, pick up more on your way!
How could someone so small
Eat this much at all?!
Gumming foam late at night
So churns my spawn
He seems to think it’s a game
He just wants more food inside
Churning around and around
I think he’s found
That we are under his control
Go round and around
Going down
Messed up like his debris tray
Baby paste, baby paste
Got some in his hair
And some on his waist
Baby paste, baby paste
Hey, honey!
Change him while I clean up this place
How could someone who crawls
Get so much on the walls?!
Baby paste, baby paste
Slow down, child
You just went through a case!
Baby paste, baby paste
Hey, honey!
Doctor says he might lack lactase
This sure explains why he bawls
And his diapers are a haul!
TRACK 2
LYRICS BY BONNEEAU
MUSIC BY UCHEW
GUM
PARODY OF NUMB
Don’t chew
And talk at the same time
It’s pink
Rubbery
Best thing ever designed
I find
It’s fab
Chew much
It’s dope and as such
I knead
And cleave
With my teeth
Do check on seat
If jerks have dispensed
Stuck under
Wrecks slacks
Say bye to those pants
Saboteurs
Ruin walks
Someone stuck
Gum in a lock
Such feat secrete
Take fists to that creep
The flavour might wane
Deplete
Refill
So bliss is sustained
Won’t end the thrill
Until bubbles you form
Hard to inflate
Devour gumballs
And increase that rate
I love to masticate
Wax
On some poured
Sorbitol
Cavities ward
Just a quarter affords
It’s a deal
You can’t ignore
I chew gum
I chew gum
(Bubbles I want to puff)
Don’t buy that brand
(Cinnamon is hot)
Don’t chew a rubber band
(Melon is juicy wet)
Don’t scrape
Don’t gape
Or your mouth
I’ll duct tape
(Cherry I adore)
This doesn’t taste like grape
(Kiwi is tasty stuff)
This deed
It’s idyll
But jackals malign
(In Singapore, jail you’ll net)
The nerve!
Undeserved!
Screw Singapore!
(I chew gum)
Buy, try, lurv
(I chew gum)
There’s sugar-free
Econo-size Polar Ice
(Gum is what I got)
Mint
Cran-Citrus
Apple Surprise
(Gum keeps my mouth wet)
The stuff I love to puff
(Gum beats eating snot)
I chew gum
Won’t lie
I buy supplies
Stacked high
Teeth stained
Jaw strained
(I chew gum)
But no weight gain!
(I chew gum)
Not a chump
Who smokes
Who drinks
Does coke
A freak tweaked
(I chew gum)
Or piqued for boiled leeks
(I chew gum)
Chiclets
(I chew gum)
Don’t suggest
Ingest
Don’t eject on cement
Shoes wrecked
(I chew gum)
Don’t suggest
Ingest
(Gum is what I got)
A mouthful at work
White collar
Mail clerk
I’d dish with Trish
On the new brands stores get
(I chew gum)
Wild Peach
Taste leeched
Just eat some more
(I chew gum)
I puff that sticky stuff
(I chew gum)
Spearmint?
I’ve got lots
(I chew gum)
Don’t forego
Partake!
Trident?
Maybe some Nicorette?
(I chew gum)
A meal? I’ll pass
Digress
Deny
Just feel
Food’s such a bore
(I chew gum)
Plant stuff
Derived
Face stuffer
Sublime
All flavours devised
I’ll try
(I chew gum)
Don’t eject
Don’t you wreck
My trek
(I chew gum)
Don’t expel
Ingest
Don’t eject
Don’t you wreck
My trek
(I chew gum)
Don’t expel
Ingest
(I chew gum)
TRACK 3
SINGLE RELEASED JUNE 1993
LYRICS BY THE WEDGE
MUSIC BY UCHEW
MELON
PARODY OF LEMON
Melon
See-through in the sunlight
She bore melons
But never were a birthright
She's gonna make you shy
She's gonna make you whisper and groan
And when you're a spy
She draws her water standing prone
And I feel
Like hand slowly, slowly, slowly slipping under
And I feel
Like HRs scolding over nothing
She bore melons
White collar who is old craves sight
She was heaving
And her sweater on so tight
A man makes a picture
A mental picture
Through work site subjected
He can feel himself up close
A man procures lawyers
A man likes to stare
He turns his money into legal fight
To look at her
And I feel
Like I'm lifting, lifting, lifting what she wore
And I feel
Like I'm shimmying to HR
Midnight is when leave pay begins
Midnight is when leave pay begins
Midnight is when leave pay begins
Midnight is when leave pay begins
Melon
See through in the sunlight
A man builds a titty
With tanks of chemicals
A man sets a hand
So he can feel the girl bestride
(You're gonna meet HR there)
A man takes a car
(She shares declaration)
And guilt is showed to ruin him on
(You gotta get to HR)
A man's schemes she's grieving
(She's immoderation)
But he always stays assigned
And these are the days
When our quirk has come asunder
And these are the days
When we crook on someone's mother
Midnight is when leave pay begins
Midnight is when leave pay begins
Midnight is when leave pay begins
Midnight is when leave pay begins
Midnight is when leave pay begins
Midnight is when leave pay begins
Midnight is when leave pay begins
Midnight is when leave pay begins
A man makes a picture
A mental picture
Through work site subjected
He can feel himself up close
A man procures lawyers
(You're gonna meet HR there)
A man likes to dare
(She's your declamation)
He turns his money into legal fight
(There's no creeping there)
To look at her
(She's insinuation)
She is the screamer
(Melon)
She's immoderation
(She was heaving)
Through work site subjected
He can feel himself up close
(Heaving and lilting)
She bore melons
TRACK 4
SINGLE RELEASED SEPTEMBER 1993
LYRICS BY BONNEEAU
MUSIC BY UCHEW
STAINED
(SCOUR AWAY SOILED CLOTHES!
PARODY OF STAY (FARAWAY, SO CLOSE!)
Green blight, a smudge of cayenne
You dropped bits from a snack of chocolates
You spilled Coke
And Mountain Dew
Hey, now
A speck that’s strange!
Messed up from a beer bash
Your meals are turning whites to brown
If you had your wits about you
You’d be fine
But the dirt is showing right through
To the other side
Come on now
Give us a break!
Red site, greasy ring
You fumbled
With a bowl of beef ground
Your attire
So far from prim
Your friends don’t stick around
You used to take up
Laundering your shirts
In the sink
In the bathroom
And is that gook
Some gooked-up pee?
Why do you balk at being clean?
I’m scared to touch you
You’re covered with things
If there’s a stain
Then you might want
To wipe it up
Stained
And you may earn some disgust
Stained
This chore can get too tough
Scour away soiled clothes
Find out which fabric
Or cotton ratio
With a colour safe composition
You can wash anything
Ramie...
Denim Jeans...
Lycra...
Satin...
Or Linen
And if there’s no Cheer
Or even All
And if there’s no Tide
Or BioWashBall
Reach for the Shout
It just might help you
If there’s a stain
Then you might want
To wipe it up
Stained
And you may earn
Some disgust
Stained
Before those get too tough
Three o’clock in the morning
At the laundromat
There’s no one around
Just the clang and the clatter
As your laundry’s goin’ round
Just the clang and the clatter
As your laundry’s goin’ round
TRACK 5
SINGLE RELEASED NOVEMBER 1993
LYRICS BY BONNEEAU
MUSIC BY UCHEW
DADDY’S GONNA PAY FOR YOUR CASHED JAR
PARODY OF DADDY’S GONNA PAY
FOR YOUR CRASHED CAR
You bought delicious scones
You let out a groan
He emptied the last jar
Which you’ve hurled
And he must atone
Daddy—that goddamn *bleep*
Daddy—that little snake
Daddy doesn’t replace the Nutella he takes
Muah ha, ha, ha
Muah ha, ha, ha
Daddy’s gonna pay for your cashed jar
You spittle outright
In his Cafe Swiss
Butterfly chrysalis
Gives his hash browns a twist
Then you give daddy ‘something’
In his bacon strips
Pale kitten barf in his pancake mix
Muah ha, ha, ha
Muah ha, ha, ha
Daddy’s gonna pay for your cashed jar
You’re waging a war that’s gastric
Give him ripened prawn
Naja Jolokia
Makes daddy’s meals mite strong
Give him Reflux Disease
And a flaming scar
Patty substituted
With an Ex-Lax bar
Daddy’s discomfort
Daddy’s poor rear end
Daddy’ll think twice
Next time your spread expend
Muah ha, ha, ha
Muah ha, ha, ha
Daddy’s gonna pay for your cashed jar
Daddy’s gonna pay for your cashed jar
Sundae?
Fart spray!
Fillet?
Bowel pain!
Cheese tray?
Foul play underway all night!
Sundae?
Fart spray!
Fillet?
Bowel pain!
Cheese tray?
Foul play underway all night!
Sundae?
Fart spray!
Fillet?
Bowel pain!
Cheese tray?
Foul play underway all night!
TRACK 6
LYRICS BY BONNEEAU
MUSIC BY UCHEW
SOME WAYS ARE BETTER
THAN MOTHER’S
PARODY OF SOME DAYS ARE BETTER THAN OTHERS
Some ways are dry
Some ways are leaky
Some ways are clean
Other ways are reeky
Some ways make less
But most ways cost more
Some ways skip through the figures
And—pronto—you pour
Some ways are quick
But most ways aren’t speedy
Some ways use 1/4th
More than is necessary
Some ways just opt to adjust
Some ways are better than Mother’s
Some ways
You call dad up
Say what you’re taught was not enough
Some ways are better than Mother’s
Some ways are drippy
Others ways are sloppy
Some ways you’ve scanned
From website of a yuppie
Stroke chin mid-bite
And think: “had I my druthers
Some ways are better than Mother’s”
Some ways you make up
For your lack of training
Some mommies’ ways
You wish weren’t constraining
Some ways are sucky
Some ways might-have-been
And some ways you counter
Are better than kin’s
Some ways
Your peers rejoice
Making food with a knowledge base
Some ways are better than Mother’s
Some ways will impress
Some ways will not
Some ways you’re thankful
For broth you’ve got
Some ways you fake it
And it’s barmy
Some ways there’s just enmity
Some ways will work
Most ways are lazy
Some ways you feel
Like a twit who gets plaguey
Cookin’ a thesis
That has you bothered
Some ways are better than Mother’s
Some days
You feel misled
It’s common sense you’ll use instead
Some ways are better than Mother’s
Some ways
It’s clear your choice
Making meals that aren’t a disgrace
Some ways are better than Mother’s
TRACK 7
LYRICS BY BONNEEAU
MUSIC BY UCHEW
THE WORST THYME
PARODY OF THE FIRST TIME
I have discovered
Discovered that my mother
Had put old, old, old herbs/mold
Accidently in her cooking
Threw up colours
I never thought I’d see
Gave me food poisoning
By way of allergies
It was the worst thyme
I’m sure of
I was discoloured
So discoloured I cede
I spent the whole day
On plumbing
Rear end just running out of me
I feared my health going down
“Help,” I called
And they came around
It was the worst thyme
I’m sure of
Had hotter and more rich, man
But I swear my ass be broke
Gave me these pills
And kept ‘em coming
Gave me cups of Jell-O
Doc said, “I see many patients
And there are many with disease
But you tore out your back door
And it’s like nothing I’ve ever seen!
And it’s like nothing I’ve ever seen!
Yeah, it’s like nothing I’ve ever seen!
Yeah, it’s like nothing I’ve ever seen!
That’s the worst thyme
That’s the worst thyme
That’s the worst thyme
I’ve heard of!”
TRACK 8
LYRICS BY BONNEEAU
MUSIC BY UCHEW
DIRTY PLATE
PARODY OF DIRTY DAY
Let me show you
You can see it’s no mere whit
I have a salad bowl
If it’s sanitized—I have doubts
I’d say be careful with my claim
Because I might have your health permit
You can have this chance
To make everything right
This plate is totally unfit!
Quality’s down
That’s not the way it used to be
I’m a VIP Member
Mister...
Don’t you ever forget!
This is a dirty plate!
A dirty plate!
Don’t want salmonella
I hope you understand
Now go back from whence you came
And take a look back there
You’re bound to find one not dirty
Listen to me, son
If one shits
And has the runs
And a jerk’s hygiene’s none
It won’t be fun
And, son...
Don’t be dismissin’ grime
And, son...
Don’t be dismissin’ grime
And, son...
Don’t be dismissin’ grime
There’s no suds inside that sink?
Go earn your pay
Nothing happens till ya make a stink
This cup
Well...since you’re kitchen bound
Get one new
More so now
With this smear that I’ve found
I say the ways, way, ways
This plate could be the source of some ills
The ways, way, ways
This plate could be the source of some ills
I say the ways, way, ways
This plate could be the source of some ills
The ways, way, ways
This plate could be the source of some ills
I say the ways, way, ways
This plate could be the source of some ills
The ways, way, ways
This plate could be the source of some ills
TRACK 9
LYRICS BY BONNEEAU
MUSIC BY UCHEW
THE SQUANDERER
PARODY OF THE WANDERER
I went out shopping
As if streets paved with gold
Gift cards were blown
Saw buckskin trombone
And a shitty crystal punch bowl
I went on shopping
Under economic high
Like 10 pound brass urns
To contain Sauternes
Which appears was not a good buy
Yeah, I’ve spent for nothing
Nothing that I’ve bought has use
I went squandering
I went gifting
Shoes and victuals for kin
Where men post hoc
Can really balk
And sons turn to fathers’ gin
I shopped inside a greenhouse
Where the citizens like to hit
I say I want Wild Goose Plum
But I don’t want sod with it
I spent on...
Buying gown that’s old and arcane
Amassed—uh—a thousand wines
Looking not at the name
Yeah, I’ve spent for nothing
And I bought a gold leaf pear, too
Looking cuckoo
I went out there
In search of luxuriance
Too wasted
And—as such—did not feel cost much
As a man can sober
And prevents
I went out searching
Looking for one good flan
A spirit who should not spend on cake
Who would hit that on his night stand
I went out shopping
With a vital lack of funds
The bird I’ve bought
Stays levied on my card
I was sure it was just one
Now—Jesus!
It all adds up!
Jesus!
It’s all ballooned!
Yeah, I spent and have the vapours
Holding a big black bassoon
Yeah, I’m left with enough things
That I bought
My welfare’s screwed
Looking unshrew
Yeah, I’ve spent for nothing
Nothing that I’ve bought has use
I went squandering
TRACK 10
LYRICS BY BONNEEAU
MUSIC BY UCHEW
GUEST VOCALS BY JOHNNY CASHEW