THE 

AMACHA TEA


PARODY OF THE JOSHUA TREE


WHERE THE SEATS

HAVE KNOWN SHAME

I STILL HAVEN’T FOUND

WHAT I’M COOKING FOR

WITH OR WITHOUT AU JUS

GULLET THE BLUE PIE

RUNNING TO CANNED FILL

RED GRILL SHINING BROWN

IN GOD’S CURRANT TREE

RIP THROUGH YOUR FRYERS

JUAN, MEATFILL

CHEX MIX

BREWERS OF THE PERFECT BEER

MARCH 1987


THE AMACHA TEA became a monolithic, all-conquering slab of black rock playing Zach Sprach Zarathustra and dominating the rock airwaves in 1987 as UCHEW unleashed an assault of epic riffs, resoundingly universal lyrics, and widescreen cinematic aesthetics to colonize the musical landscape of the late 80s. Other bands took note like cavemen with drumsticks, approaching cautiously at the towering album casting such a shadow upon them all, inspiring them to become greater, more evolved.

Featuring such instant classics as WHERE THE SEATS HAVE KNOWN SHAME, WITH OR WITHOU AU JUS, and I STILL HAVEN'T FOUND WHAT I'M COOKING FOR, this monster of an LP has been long considered one of the greatest food rock albums of all time.

WHERE THE SEATS HAVE KNOWN SHAME


PARODY OF WHERE THE STREETS HAVE NO NAME

I have the runs

I have the slides

I’ve torn my intestinal walls

And all my insides

I wanna eat out

Not shoot out flames

Where the seats have known shame


I want to feel

Relief on my face

I see horrors mist my rear

And with some haste

I wanna take Alka-Seltzer

For the noisome pain

Where the seats have known shame


Where the seats have known shame

Where the seats have known shame

This lil building

I’m burning down, love

Burning down, love

And though they’ll get theirs

I’ll get Air Rescued

Shit’s all I can do


The toilet’s aflood

I’m a piñata gone bust

I’ve been beaten

And a bomb thrown inside

Scrambled my guts

I’ve been to a place

That serves only pain

Where the seats have known shame


Where the seats have known shame

Where the seats have known shame

This lil building

I’m burning down, love

Burning down, love

And though they’ll get theirs

I’ll get Air Rescued

Shit’s all I can do


A bomb in my guts

I’ve been beaten

And a bomb thrown inside

Must be e. coli

Oh, and I see stuff

Stuff seep out my guts

I’ve been beaten

And a bomb thrown inside

Armed with e. coli

And when they get theirs

They’ll get theirs real soon

Shit’s all I can do!


TRACK 1


SINGLE RELEASED AUGUST 1987

LYRICS BY BONNEEAU

MUSIC BY UCHEW

I STILL HAVEN’T FOUND WHAT I’M COOKING FOR


PARODY OF I STILL HAVEN’T FOUND 

WHAT I’M LOOKING FOR

I have climbed the highest mounting

I have run through the meals

Only to eat cashews

Only to eat cashews


I have shunned

I have stalled

I have inhaled these puffed cheeseballs

Only to be eschewed


But I still haven't found what I'm cooking for

But I still haven't found what I'm cooking for


I have fisted honey chips

Felt the feeling as my hunger grips

It spurned fridge entire

Discerning desire


I have smoked up a ton of Sour Diesel

I have held my hand on the pestle

I brainstormed in the night

I console with a scone


But I still haven't found what I'm cooking for

But I still haven't found what I'm cooking for


I relieve with a single plum

When all the flavours

Will feed indecision

Feed indecision, now

So, yes, I’m still ­shunning


I soaked your fronds

And I­ loosened plantains

Ferried fudge sauce to my frame

To my frame

You know I should leave it


But I still haven't found what I'm cooking for

But I still haven't found what I'm cooking for

But I still haven't found what I'm cooking for

But I still haven't found what I'm cooking for


TRACK 2


SINGLE RELEASED MAY 1987

LYRICS BY BONNEEAU

MUSIC BY UCHEW

WITH OR WITHOUT

AU JUS


PARODY OF WITH OR WITHOUT YOU

See the plates set before ours eyes

See the sandwich with no side

I ask for Au Jus


Raise of hand and scene create

On a snail’s pace he makes us wait

And I wait

Without Au Jus


With or without Au Jus

With or without Au Jus


Through the meal we are ignored

You eat it all but I wait some more

And I’m waiting

For Au Jus


With or without Au Jus

With or without Au Jus

I can’t eat

Roast beef without Au Jus


And he’ll say it’s on its way

And he’ll say it’s on its way

And he’ll say

And he’ll say

And he’ll say it’s on its way


The waiter lied

What is the use

He’s got me with nothing

But dry meat

And nothing left to do


And he’ll say it’s on its way

And he’ll say it’s on its way

And he’ll say

And he’ll say

And he’ll say it’s on its way


With or without Au Jus

With or without Au Jus

I can’t eat

Roast beef without Au Jus


With or without Au Jus

With or without Au Jus

I can’t eat

Roast beef without Au Jus

Roast beef without Au Jus


TRACK 3


SINGLE RELEASED MARCH 1987

LYRICS BY BONNEEAU

MUSIC BY UCHEW

GULLET 

THE BLUE PIE


PARODY OF BULLET THE BLUE SKY

In the empty kitchen

Comes a starving child

See him follow a trail

From his nose

Right to a fresh baked pie

As if second sight

A red serving bowl

See his face now smeared

Running away

Before his mother knows


Pie

Gullet the blue pie

Gullet the blue pie

Gullet the blue...

Gullet the blue...

Ah…ah…


A bratty sibling

Becomes a tattling son

Lil’ Rob wrestled with morals

And his morals were overcome

You can’t just take a pie

Or you raise a mother’s ire

Saw him taking chances

Saw the stakes

Get higher and higher


Pie

Gullet the blue pie

Gullet the blue pie

Gullet the blue...

Gullet the blue...

Ah…ah…


So his mom comes up to him

His face red

Like a clown nose on a coke rush

Like all the soreness

Of a well spanked tush

And she’s peeling off his Dungarees

Slappin’ his ass

One Mississippi...

Two Mississippi...

And now he can’t play those video games

And now he can’t play those video games


Grounded

He’s now punished for a whole week

At 7:30

He’s now required to go to sleep

He walks away

And stomps the floor

His mom asks him

If he’d like some more

As the boy seethes

And begins to moan

Through the walls

You can hear his mommy groan


Inside it’s a mother’s dilemma

Inside it’s a mother’s dilemma


Across the world

You hear stories so often

Feel the pain

When mothers tear ‘em a new one

Pounding on the wayward children

Pounding on the wayward children

Who dare…

To eat mom’s…

Blueberry pie


TRACK 4


LYRICS BY BONNEEAU

MUSIC BY UCHEW

RUNNING 

TO CANNED FILL


PARODY OF RUNNING TO STAND STILL

And so I cooked up

Cooked up some fare but was lacking fill

Said, "I gotta use something

A sauce that can go in"


Prepped up something plain

Pepped up this Quiche Lorraine

Maybe run to the corner store

In the night


Buying, ah...

Hol lal lal landaise

Hol lal lal landaise


Heat a tin

Bitter the taste that comes out

I need Sweet & Sour

But some chickpeas?

Do without!


I've got this pie without filling

Stock we've failed upkeeping

Cream that is Hobson's Choice

You know I took a coupon

From a coupon scheme

Then I bolted out of here


Buying

Hol lal lal landaise

Hol lal lal landaise


Flummoxed that my treats

Aren't comprised with a shred

Of some blackberries

I took out and had drained

In yogurt parfait I bring

In light golden swirls

Stirred in canned peach


I am gauging

I am gauging

Should this corn go in Shepherd Pies?

There's some stuff that I need now chilled

I am running to canned fill


TRACK 5


LYRICS BY BONNEEAU

MUSIC BY UCHEW

RED GRILL

SHINING BROWN


PARODY OF RED HILL MINING TOWN

From bothered to stunned

The hood's missing

See places rust set in

To my chagrin


Esteem is shit

Charcoal pan's cracked

The shine’s all gone

There's no warming rack

Though stainless steel

To rust it's prone

Lower wire tray

Has come and gone


Yeah, it grieves me holding on

This red grill's gone

See the lights go down

I'm haranguing on

There’s nothing left to hold on to

I’m still weighting

Haranguing on

There’s nothing left to hold on to


The chassis' shot

Base panel is nigh

Our grill got old in the garage in the back

Heat shield's disappeared

Casters’ torn out

There's no bottom shelf...

That I could live without


Yeah, it grieves me holding on

This red grill's gone

See the lights go down

I'm haranguing on

There’s nothing left to hold on to

I’m still weighting

Haranguing on

There’s nothing left to hold on to


It's caked with earth

No fire will supply

I'm stupid so new one I'll buy

I think it cost an insane sum

I'd hate to pay for a new one

A new one

I'll be blunt I'm riled


I'm haranguing on

There’s nothing left to hold on to

I’m still weighting

Haranguing on

There’s nothing left to hold on to


Lost...this grill stripped away

Lost...has seen its better day


Haranguing on

The lights go out on my grill

The lights go down on my grill

Lights go down on red grill

The lights go down on my grill


TRACK 6


SINGLE RELEASED MARCH 1987

2017 MIX RE-RELEASE APRIL 2017

LYRICS BY BONNEEAU

MUSIC BY UCHEW

IN GOD’S 

CURRANT TREE


PARODY OF IN GOD’S COUNTRY

Yeah


Dessert pie

Dream to eat a dessert pie

Delivered one but soon one shy

I need new dreams tonight


Desserts posed

Dreamed I saw a dessert posed

Best adorned on Rippled Semifreddos

Like a godsend for balls of meat


Reap some like a drug

In God's currant tree

Had pies

Cooking sauces

In God's currant tree


Get me a light

We'll lunch on bowls

Right through the night

Every day ice cream supply

Recipe from my mother's side


It is good as tea

And it sometimes rescues meals

Copes tracts urinary

They've weight loss gifts

I'm told


Reap some like a drug

In God's currant tree

Had pies

Cooking sauces

In God's currant tree


Latin name

Offhand there's a latin name

A. canadensis says brain

Spurned by desire for lunch

Spurned by desire for lunch

For lunch

For lunch


TRACK 7


LYRICS BY BONNEEAU

MUSIC BY UCHEW


RIP THROUGH

YOUR FRYERS


PARODY OF TRIP THROUGH YOUR WIRES

Without assistance

I gnaw on another ’round

I was pigging out

I was pigging out

Filled with wings

Filled in vain

I send you back to get more chicken

Mouth enfolds on garlic honey

Mouth around wings worth the money

That smell

That smell I revel

I was hungry

And I smack my lips

Food...I’m aching for food

Food...food gets on attire

I rip through your fryers

I’m not choking

Mouth all agape

Could have made ‘em hotter just a shade

My lips don’t lie

Throat non-plussed

Want it to swelter from a heat that’s robust

Make ‘em hotter

Hot as hell

Make ‘em hotter...hotter!


That smell

That smell I revel

I was hungry

And I smack my lips

Food...I’m aching for food

Food...food gets on attire

I rip through your fryers

And I’ll feed...and I’ll feed

And I’ll feed...and I’ll feed

And I’ll feed...and I’ll feed

And I’ll feed

Hell, yeah!

Under...undercooked your chicken

I won’t be cowed by some e. coli

In this instance I gnaw on another round

I was pigging out

I was pigging out


TRACK 8


LYRICS BY BONNEEAU

MUSIC BY UCHEW

JUAN, MEATFILL


PARODY OF ONE TREE HILL


We churn away

To make the cold, raw meat fill

And we make ‘em

While we wear dirty gloves

The run so tight

They leave no workflow

With unfilled hours

Carving into flesh

Until someone gets hurt


A finger’s cut

And becomes Juan, Meat Fill

You’d think they’d come round

And stop the line


It bleeds like a river

It’s plain to see

It bleeds like a river

Into the meat


I’d love a world

That wouldn’t have us

In a viral zone

Where unions speak for us

Then strike for it

Saranwrap™ his wound

Then he’s fired

Now that his hand is gone

You know his blood still dyes

All that ground


It bled like a river

It’s plain to see

It bled like a river

Into the meat


I don’t believe

They use clean hoses

Or heed safety charts

While dollars pile on high

For the unethical

What we eat in the end

Is a finger that falls from a guy

From a room that has turned red

Over Juan, Meat Fill


It bled like a river

It’s plain to see

It bled like a river

Into the meat


It bears explaining

Explaining hard

Only when forced

Will they let us

Take these machines apart

Then the draining

The draining starts

Draining away the parts

Draining

Draining parts

Draining body parts

Full of disease


Oh, grate motion

Oh, grate skin

Bleed like an ocean

Bleed like a sea


TRACK 9


LYRICS BY BONNEEAU

MUSIC BY UCHEW

CHEX MIX


PARODY OF EXIT

You know he got the lure

You know he must obey

He used to not partake

To drive esteem in disarray

Undaunted

He’ll receive

A huge glycemic load


With bread sticks salted heavy

Pretzels!

Nuts!

Worcestershire, man!

Onion powder vying

With a token garlic ‘span’

Pats the growling within

Pats the growling within


He went deeper into sack

Peepers narrowed slight

He eats those bagel chips

Whining they’re curtailed outright

He keeps on eating...

Eating...

Eating...

Eating handfuls of

Like a beggar

Pining for some drug

One lands in his socket

Eye injured by cornmeal

General Mills’ ass levied

To lawyers he would squeal!


He keeps eating...

Eating...

Eating...

Eating...

’Til out of

‘Til out of...

‘Til out of...

‘Til out of...

‘Til out of...


See the vast landfill

Bags that won’t break down

No land’s rid of


TRACK 10


LYRICS BY BONNEEAU

MUSIC BY UCHEW

BREWERS OF 

THE PERFECT BEER


PARODY OF MOTHERS OF THE DISAPPEARED

Bud Light is more like water

Swill turned down, forsaken to us

Beer should replete

Real beer should replete

Bathtub gin’s not what we’re after

Those big chains can kiss our rears

Beer should replete

Real beer should replete


Birth pangs of a Pilsener

Fetched over corporate brew

Beer should replete

Real beer should replete


With true ease what fun to make it

No pub crawls

Our draught supply:

Artsy beer with alcohol


TRACK 11


LYRICS BY BONNEEAU

MUSIC BY UCHEW